Van Gogh

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Posts by Van Gogh

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  40

  Does your personal vehicle reflect your personality?

  by Gregor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  there is a clever volkswagen tv ad currently running in the u s that depicts various types of people driving cars that reflect their personality, like older males driving sleek sports cars to compensate for their "shortcomings" or a younger man driving an expensive european sedan as he pronounces with a bullhorn "because my father never hugged me!

  or another who says "because i make more money than you!

  have any of you ever gotten your self image tangled up with a vehicle?

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  Van Gogh

  1977 VW Golf 1600 automatic on LPG gas. Use it about twice a month. Usually ride my bicycle around town. Gets you around quicker.
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  9

  happy on the outside, crappy on the inside

  by lost_sheep in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm tired of putting on a happy face for all the drones.

  i'm sure everyone that's been a part of the borganization can relate to this.

  i had what would have been a great weekend were i still oblivious to the truth about the truth.

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  Van Gogh

  lost_sheep,
  We all have our own crosses to bear and all have to walk our very own – often lonely – walk. IMO, the truth of the matter is that very few friendships are to a large extent unconditional. When you walk away or spill the beans, you are sure to lose the kind of JW friends you mentioned. Likewise, though admittedly to a lesser degree, many non-JW friends might also turn away were you to BECOME a JW.
  I would caution you to tell them the “truth about the truth” and try to “convert” them. It doesn’t always work that way. My exit has been sudden and I spoke rashly, only to regret it. Most of my friends are like-minded, those still in or already out, but I lost one valuable friendship, shaking me up badly.
  Don’t risk shaking up your foundations until you are ready, to risk being left out in the cold. Try to understand them for a while longer and respect their progress on their path. You were there once too. Ultimately, we all are in some sort of a matrix.
  IMO, some great advice has been given to you just now:
  “At least, try to get some friends outside of organization, then you don't have to be "fake" all the time.”
  “The only way to get past it is to build up new friends outside the org. As they take up more of your time you will fade away without even knowing it, and eventually will not even miss it.”
  You obviously need to go at one time. This much is clear from your post. The ability to “see” can be heavy burden. But if you are not mentally strong enough to face the abyss, make a well-planned exit by building bridges.
  VG
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  40

  Another JW Suicide

  by orangefatcat in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  yes last thursday a young brother who was in the same hall as me but in the other cong.

  and he was 29, a newborn baby and a 2or 3 year old and young wife committed suicide.

  was killed here in our town of newmarket by a train.

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  Van Gogh

  Orangefatcat,
  Thank you for sharing your story.
  I find that one of the tragic paradoxes of this board is that in expressing our innermost feelings and thoughts in a such coherent way - without falling prey to the inhibitions and prejudices that come with seeing eye to eye in literal way – we can draw closer to each other in ways often never achieved in a lifetime living close together; lifetimes in which we fail to take advantage to literally look into the eyes of another and READ them without words. The paradox being that we can feel so close by telling, expressing, communicating, connecting profoundly, yet, without the ability to hold, hug, touch and associate in person.
  My personal paradox since leaving JW is having become aware of (being part of) something “bigger” – humanity - without judgment, yet becoming aware of your existential loneliness through the mystery as to how to connect with it. Ideally we should have both.
  Another poster PM-ed me yesterday with wisdom that struck me deeply:
  “I hope a world where people love each other comes about too, but it is obvious that all people have a degree of insanity (sin). We are driven by so many fears and anxieties and desires and they cause problems and wars and strife and misery for the human race. We don't seem to be able to work together as one as a species. It isn't a Muslim problem, or American problem, or a Bush problem. It's a human problem IMHO. Have you ever examined your own life and emotions and times where you reacted too strongly and hurt somebody? It seems that when we are put under stress we tend to over-react and become violent in our verbal expressions all the way to extreme physical violence. I see this tendency in myself and others.”
  My mum and dad – who at one time were exemplary Witnesses - killed themselves in 78/79. Many people showed up at their funerals without official involvement of course. It is only now that I can feel the true implications of true grief, tragedy and the implications of its unbroken chain.
  There is never just one single reason for such tragedies, but the WTS definitely is a catalyst. Like “sin”, whatever it signifies, this catalyst remains in place, unchanged as part of the “bigger” thing of humanity of which we as individuals are an integral part, for us to try to deal with, somehow accept, and perhaps forgive.
  VG
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  25

  Why this forum was important to me....my story (Loooong post!)

  by never too late to be myseld in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  because it made me think and face what i tried to push back.

  i was born in the truth.

  somehow i decided i would be a nice little jw and f*ck the rest.

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  Van Gogh

  Welcome never too late!
  Thanks for relating your story. Great writing btw. I know where you are coming from...and I once fled to England too.

  One thing that crossed my mind when reading your account is the necessity too somehow make peace with what you are and where you are coming from: your parents, your siblings, your spirituality and relationship with God and your country; confronting (fight) whatever you fear without fleeing (flight) somewhere else, dropping out of sight or just trashing your Bible. Living in two cultures can add ad a significant burden to shaky foundations already. Face yourself, settle and work from there: seek security in your surroundings and relationships.
  (BTW Spain to me equates to paradise; why leave such wonderful roots again? Many Brits would give an arm and a leg too settle down there. Just goes to show: many things are just in the mind.)
  Take care,
  VG
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  34

  Interesting thought on the importance of the name Jehovah.

  by PaNiCAtTaCk in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  first off, i did not write this.

  i found it on the net.

  i think this guy made an interesting point.

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  Van Gogh

  Check out this link:

  http://www.catholic-forum.com/members/popestleo/hiding.html

  Fred Franz did not in all cases restore the Divine Name in the NWT based upon Hebrew translations the NT that contained it.

  VG
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  23

  I saw the Queen today!!

  by dido in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i went and saw the queen today, she was visiting a little town near me, so i thought, why shouldn`t i go and see her?

  after stopping myself from doing that sort of thing,(like going to see princess diana`s flower`s when she died), because we were advised not to when we were jw`s.

  it was a really happy day, people were waving flags, and the atmosphere was lovely.

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  Van Gogh

  Dido,
  I’m not a royalist either, but admittedly, QEll is an extraordinary professional, symbolizing a sense of nationhood and continuity (signified by other kinds of conventions and symbols for the USA), though, judging by one post, not for “her” Canada.
  I went to see “my” queen, another professional, during the 5th of May liberation day festivities. Allowing yourself to feel part of this “bigger” thing can be a an entirely new experience, to have the freedom now to do what you want, to see and do whatever you please, fitting in with harmless customs big or small that bind people together in a common bond of humanity, without always feeling pressured to derogatorily JUDGE others, can indeed feel GREAT!
  VG
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  17

  It's My Turn

  by Life Is Grand in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  another post from a newbie(who has been lurking around here for a couple of years now).. my story is nothing exciting really.

  i grew up pretty much from the age of 3 or 4 in the jw religion.

  my parents both became witnesses at that time, then after a couple of years, my mother "saw the light", and stopped going, but my father dragged my sister and i along with him for many years to come.

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  Van Gogh

  Welcome to the board LiG,
  
  "I don't know if the guilt or the doubt ever really truly goes away from deep down inside."
  
  Doubt, fears, guilt, beliefs... perverted survival mechanisms and confusing irrationalities etched into our systems like fear of spiders, like phobics we're forever checking under the bed before being able to sleep. Doing your homework will drive out the demons that gotta go and make peace with the ones that gonna stay.
  Happy birthday. I plan on celebrating mine too if stop hating them so much.
  VG
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  23

  PROCESS: I don't belong in this world....yet.

  by freedomlover in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have been reading a book my hubby recommended to me- man's search for meaning - by viktor frankl.

  very good book.

  he is a survivor of nazi concentration camps and it's not just another grisly tale of horrors of cc life.

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  Van Gogh

  Freedomlover, you described me:
  
  the release period
  I've been "out" of the org. about 6 months now and the healing process is just that, a process, something that I don't know will ever end.
  "felt" nothing did not yet belong to this world.-
  feel elation at first when you leave the org. The POWER you feel is overwhelming - a natural high if you will. presented with *freedom* you've only dreamt about- much like the freedom prisoners dream about, but then you need to figure out HOW to be free. You dream of freedom, and yet it's given to you and you don't really know what to do with it at first; this inbetween world since leaving
  Part of that challenge for me is not visiting this board as much. No offense to anyone, but for me the energy I put into dwelling about my old life in the org. only takes away from me being able to move forward into my new life.
  yet - the kinship here you feel with others - it's because of sharing this same experience. It's a whole new world that was there all the time - right in front of me- yet I don't belong in it yet. I'm getting there though.... ;)
  
  Freedomlover, Like you: JW by birth and genetic lottery. Ex JW by choice.
  VG
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  23

  <thoughts> Having left just the JW's "cult" or some more to?

  by spiceant in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have read a lot of text and story's about people that leave the jw's and this appears to be pretty much all that's being talked about.. i assume you believe that you have done right by your opposing stand to the jw's because you believe you have been done evil (or have seen jw's do evil) and probably right so.

  do you people still pray to jehova and study the bible (on your own for once) as to get to know jehova's purpose for us?.

  i wonder about this because i fear that you might "revert" back to the common western culture (assuming you live in one because you'r after all reading this over the internet) which i appal and detest in very many of its motivational aspects (that is, the motivations of its people) that are crudely speaking, selfish and ultimately, in the generations long run destructive.

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  Van Gogh

  Welcome Spiceant,
  
  I love your post and your idealism (considering your age).
  As to why it should be so adamantly pro-Dutch (one of the most secular, non-Christian societies on earth – just think of Amsterdam’s reputation…) and anti-USA, I’m not so sure.
  As to “"reverting back to the common western culture” after leaving WTS/JW, please note that The Organization is essentially a materialistic, result-oriented USA-culture pervaded phenomena to its very core. I for one envy many Americans for their Christian Churches and culture/consciences (except when their members go defend democracy in Iraq, of course).
  Check out this thread and my recent post here:
  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/113645/1.ashx
  (and my recent post here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/113401/2.ashx)
  Posting on forums like this is forbidden for JW’s. Even most exJW’s here post anonymously not without reason. I for one hope you will keep posting here and will LEARN. We all still do. So perhaps with regard to future postings it would be wise to edit out your name.
  Please stick around and to your 4th point: • An infinitely open mind (tolerance). It will be your strongest asset.
  PM me if you like – I spent nearly my entire life so far (hope to make up with many years to come) as a third generation Dutch “Jehovah’s Getuige”.
  VG
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  27

  my experiences (new user =))

  by Lehtiveli in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i finally made myself to register on this board.

  i think i should tell my experiences.

  so, i was born to a jw family.

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  Van Gogh

  Welcome Lehtiveli,
  Your English is fine; I hope you will keep posting here.
  We outside the Anglo-Saxon world grew up in a USA religious subculture.
  But, as you implied, good stuff happens in the States just the same: for one, the “sun” shines more often than in Finland or the Netherlands.
  I was thinking the other day that the global, international aspect of the org is something that I perhaps miss; being part of/belonging to something “bigger”.
  Now that we have left the nest of mother org, we face the even bigger world that is out there.
  Experiences from country to country are similar, if not nearly identical. All over the world, the spiritual paradise – especially with hindsight – felt like virtual hell. That unites us now as well.
  So it is a shame that despite many non-English speaking exJW’s no doubt having an adequate level of English language proficiency, they for some reason do not post here. Perhaps the culture-specific vernacular is a problem.
  IMO, JWD is a treasure trove of valuable information and research, comfort and intelligent conversation and insight way way above that to be found anywhere within my small native language zone.
  So to all you in mainland Europe out there: come post here and share!
  VG